Post by tom johnson on Dec 24, 2008 16:59:17 GMT -5
How to be literate!
1. You must state that you're literate.
2. Your character HAS to be Emo
3. Your character must have very thick eyeliner (so they can have the appearance of a raccoon)
4. Even though your character is living in poverty, don't forget their blackberry and convertible!
5. Your character needs puffy, oddly colored hair.
6. One must have a horrible, gut-wrenching, tear-jerking history that usually invovles abuse and/or a parent leaving and/or passing away.
7. You must use "Thee", "Thou", and "hast" to make yourself sound smarter.
8. You must have a link. If you don't have a link, you suck.
9. Drench each sentence in a bucket's worth of purple prose. Bonus if you can work thesaurus words in that when people ask what you mean you can respond with 'You, don't know what that means?'
10. You use the term 'lation instead of clicking one extra key and typing relation
11. You MUST drag a simple "Hello" into a long description of nothing very important that no one really cares about.
12. You have to use silly little pet names like hun, darling, sweetie, honey, and whatnot when we clearly do not want you calling us these things, for we're not your 'darling' or 'hun'.
13. Your character must be anorexically thin and /very/ pale. Who the hll has a tan or dark skin anyway?!? Either that or obnoxiously tan...and still way to thin.
14. You must describe your character's eyes as orbs. They are no longer ovals or circles, they are "orbs".
15. Your character must be 'odd' or 'misunderstood' and always show it through the way he/she dresses, not through action (because that would show they really are like everyone else!!)
16. You must have a severe god complex.
17. You must have && somewhere in your board title
18. You must describe, in avid detail, every piece of clothing your character is wearing
19. Nobody has brown eyes. Icy/clear/light/brilliant blue/green/grey are most common.
20. Everyone has brilliant very noticable eyes as well. Kind, innocent, sweet, sorrowful, hard, /something/. They're never just THERE.
21. If in a horse roleplay, horses MUST have pistons instead of legs, opticals instead of eyes and must always rear and neigh.
22. You must not show any sense of humor.
23. Personality of you character doesn't matter. As long as you describe their house, every single thing in their closet, and there Hello Kitty convertible, you're good.
24. Your female character must have long black hair, icy blue eyes, a "fiery" personality, and a Wapanese name that you claim you "Made up yourself."
25. In order to be literate, your character must have a twin sister/brother and be the youngest of three kids, with the oldest having several problems.
26. In order to be literate, you must judge a person's ability to roleplay by their font. What the crap does the font have to do with anything?!
27. Your character must wake up to "the annoying buzzing of her alarm clock"
28. Girls either need to be abnormally short (so they're cute) or tall enough to be a model so they can be beautiful and statuesque (but not too tall. That's just unattractive).
29. Guys must always be at LEAST 5'9, 6'0 or taller is preferred though.
30. Nobody is ugly, genuinely, completely, irredeemably, UGLY.
31. Either that, or everyone is likable and has a soft spot to those that 'get to know them'. Your character can't have brown hair and brown eyes. It's forbidden
32. The only way that's acceptabl;e is if it's 'Long, flowing dark brunette hair and golden brown eyes the colour of chocolate and caramel mixed together to make a big gloopy tub of sweetness"
33. You say 'must post a link' and 'no lists' in the same breath.
34. A QUICK LIST
Boys with long hair = NOT COOL
Girls with natural hair colors = NOT COOL
Average weight for age = NOT COOL
OCD = ULTRA COOL
Tourette's Syndrome = NOT COOL
Schizophrenia + Multiple personality disorder + different colored eyes = ULTRA COOL
35. Your High School character MUST have lip and multiple ear piercing. Especially if your a guy.
36. To be literate, your character must be random. If they're not proclaiming their love of pie or doing the macarena on the street, they are ~mary-sues~
37. All 100%, fair-skinned, white Americans NEED to have asian eyes or perfectly tanned skin.
38. No glasses. EVER. Because we all live in a perfect world.
39. They can wear large grandpa glasses, because that is perfectly acceptable. But no normal frames.
40. And if you're character is extremely sweet and kind, she has to have her MEAN side. and if you mess with her friends, she'll get on her mean side! because she can kick any guys butt! yeah!
41. Your character has to like all modern music. Anything older than the late 90's is a big no no!
42. Or they are all big fans of the 80s, but the ~cool~ 80s music an fashions. Like legwarmers.
43. The only exception to "NO OLD MUSIC!" is Rocky Horror. Everyone needs to know songs from RHPS.
44. Oh, yeah, and everyone needs to HATE rap but still know all of the words to ICP/Twiztid/Dark Lotus stuff. ;
45. Or only listen to rap because everything else sucks.
46. High school is no longer two words if you're literate.
47. You've gotta have a picture of some random scene person that you found on myspace and use their picture as your character without their permission.
48. If you are Literate and wish to give your character flaws, you go WAY overboard. Drxnks, smxkes, does drxgs, cxrses, abxses people, THE WORKS. Because EVERY person who has ONE of these flaws automatically has ALL of them.
2. Your character HAS to be Emo
3. Your character must have very thick eyeliner (so they can have the appearance of a raccoon)
4. Even though your character is living in poverty, don't forget their blackberry and convertible!
5. Your character needs puffy, oddly colored hair.
6. One must have a horrible, gut-wrenching, tear-jerking history that usually invovles abuse and/or a parent leaving and/or passing away.
7. You must use "Thee", "Thou", and "hast" to make yourself sound smarter.
8. You must have a link. If you don't have a link, you suck.
9. Drench each sentence in a bucket's worth of purple prose. Bonus if you can work thesaurus words in that when people ask what you mean you can respond with 'You, don't know what that means?'
10. You use the term 'lation instead of clicking one extra key and typing relation
11. You MUST drag a simple "Hello" into a long description of nothing very important that no one really cares about.
12. You have to use silly little pet names like hun, darling, sweetie, honey, and whatnot when we clearly do not want you calling us these things, for we're not your 'darling' or 'hun'.
13. Your character must be anorexically thin and /very/ pale. Who the hll has a tan or dark skin anyway?!? Either that or obnoxiously tan...and still way to thin.
14. You must describe your character's eyes as orbs. They are no longer ovals or circles, they are "orbs".
15. Your character must be 'odd' or 'misunderstood' and always show it through the way he/she dresses, not through action (because that would show they really are like everyone else!!)
16. You must have a severe god complex.
17. You must have && somewhere in your board title
18. You must describe, in avid detail, every piece of clothing your character is wearing
19. Nobody has brown eyes. Icy/clear/light/brilliant blue/green/grey are most common.
20. Everyone has brilliant very noticable eyes as well. Kind, innocent, sweet, sorrowful, hard, /something/. They're never just THERE.
21. If in a horse roleplay, horses MUST have pistons instead of legs, opticals instead of eyes and must always rear and neigh.
22. You must not show any sense of humor.
23. Personality of you character doesn't matter. As long as you describe their house, every single thing in their closet, and there Hello Kitty convertible, you're good.
24. Your female character must have long black hair, icy blue eyes, a "fiery" personality, and a Wapanese name that you claim you "Made up yourself."
25. In order to be literate, your character must have a twin sister/brother and be the youngest of three kids, with the oldest having several problems.
26. In order to be literate, you must judge a person's ability to roleplay by their font. What the crap does the font have to do with anything?!
27. Your character must wake up to "the annoying buzzing of her alarm clock"
28. Girls either need to be abnormally short (so they're cute) or tall enough to be a model so they can be beautiful and statuesque (but not too tall. That's just unattractive).
29. Guys must always be at LEAST 5'9, 6'0 or taller is preferred though.
30. Nobody is ugly, genuinely, completely, irredeemably, UGLY.
31. Either that, or everyone is likable and has a soft spot to those that 'get to know them'. Your character can't have brown hair and brown eyes. It's forbidden
32. The only way that's acceptabl;e is if it's 'Long, flowing dark brunette hair and golden brown eyes the colour of chocolate and caramel mixed together to make a big gloopy tub of sweetness"
33. You say 'must post a link' and 'no lists' in the same breath.
34. A QUICK LIST
Boys with long hair = NOT COOL
Girls with natural hair colors = NOT COOL
Average weight for age = NOT COOL
OCD = ULTRA COOL
Tourette's Syndrome = NOT COOL
Schizophrenia + Multiple personality disorder + different colored eyes = ULTRA COOL
35. Your High School character MUST have lip and multiple ear piercing. Especially if your a guy.
36. To be literate, your character must be random. If they're not proclaiming their love of pie or doing the macarena on the street, they are ~mary-sues~
37. All 100%, fair-skinned, white Americans NEED to have asian eyes or perfectly tanned skin.
38. No glasses. EVER. Because we all live in a perfect world.
39. They can wear large grandpa glasses, because that is perfectly acceptable. But no normal frames.
40. And if you're character is extremely sweet and kind, she has to have her MEAN side. and if you mess with her friends, she'll get on her mean side! because she can kick any guys butt! yeah!
41. Your character has to like all modern music. Anything older than the late 90's is a big no no!
42. Or they are all big fans of the 80s, but the ~cool~ 80s music an fashions. Like legwarmers.
43. The only exception to "NO OLD MUSIC!" is Rocky Horror. Everyone needs to know songs from RHPS.
44. Oh, yeah, and everyone needs to HATE rap but still know all of the words to ICP/Twiztid/Dark Lotus stuff. ;
45. Or only listen to rap because everything else sucks.
46. High school is no longer two words if you're literate.
47. You've gotta have a picture of some random scene person that you found on myspace and use their picture as your character without their permission.
48. If you are Literate and wish to give your character flaws, you go WAY overboard. Drxnks, smxkes, does drxgs, cxrses, abxses people, THE WORKS. Because EVERY person who has ONE of these flaws automatically has ALL of them.